Sydney FC went to the top of the league under false pretences after this disappointing 2-0 win over the New Zealand Knights.
It made you think that if Sydney can lead the league then anyone ¬ except the Knights ¬ can. And for much of the second half maybe even the Knights seemed equal or better than Sydney's low benchmark.
Sydney's coach Pierre Littbarski looks more world-beaten with each post-match media conference. For every sparkle on the pitch, some glimmer of hope, he is weighed down with the much larger gloom of celebrity underachievement. Journalists are too embarrassed for him to press him for answers. You play so defensively but you still can't defend? You have the league's glamour striker but you don't get forward and you can't even hit the target? Your "stars" seem out of condition, old and tired?
Sydney scored two easy goals in the first half. Their best goal, put away by Paul Rudan at the end, was disallowed. They were outplayed in the second half and were very fortunate that the Knights missed as many sitters as they did.
It had rained heavily in Sydney earlier in the day but the pitch ¬ and the seats ¬ had a chance to dry out in the afternoon. Some light rain fell during the game but not enough to be a problem for players or fans. Of which there were a good number considering the weather, Sydney's past performances and the competition. Some of those were Knights supporters, though it was hard to pick them from pissed off Sydney fans. The Cove was full and blue and did their team proud.
I was scribing between two charming young women: my daughter to the left, a dedicated Sydney fan, increasingly fascinated by events on the pitch; and Fiona, a very knowledgeable Scottish lass attending her first game of Australian football, with a male companion who had failed to convert her to that lesser Australian Football.
Both teams hit hard from the start, keeping referee Ben Williams' whistle to his lips.
Zenon Caravella had an early run for the Knights but was squeezed out by Matthew Bingley. Danny Hay was solid in the back of Dwight Yorke. David Carney ¬ the astute Fiona's favourite ¬ beat three Knights before Josh Maguire fouled him.
The first shot of the game came from Saso Petrovski in the third minute, set up by Steve Corica. Petrovski beat two and Danny Milosevic couldn't hold his left-foot drive.
In the fifth minute Carney beat Caravella and hit a great long cross from the right to the far post where Yorke got up well and headed into the side netting.
Clint Bolton ¬ one of the few Sydney players doing their job properly ¬ got up well to take two crosses from the right. Sydney were defending deep, dropping back in numbers, letting the Knights into the final third and then crowding them out. Hence the ability of the New Zealanders to cross at will.
Corica was looking for work, getting the ball and mostly using it well.
In the tenth minute he took a corner from the left. The ball was deflected from the goalmouth out to Petrovski on his own in the top right corner of the box. He hit an easy volley into the back of the net. And everyone thought Sydney were on their way to a rout.
McFlynn was running hard and had some good touches.
Sydney had a lot of possession, with one-touch passing all around the park, but frequently back to Jacob Timpano who was given the responsibility of restarting Sydney's progress forward and well as having to accept the responsibility of repelling many of the Knights' attacks; most often with clearing headers.
Caravella came off worse attempting a heavy challenge against Iain Fyfe.
Carney running into the Knights' penalty area took on too many, with Cole Tinkler beating him while a frustrated Yorke waited for service.
Petrovski did supply Yorke but Yorke took too much on.
Caravella bowled over Corica good and proper ¬ and legal.
Yorke beat two Knights but must have felt sorry for them because he back-heeled the ball to one of them. Then he executed a smart-arse one-touch pass to one of the three Knights in the vicinity. Nowhere near a Sydney player.
In the 22nd minute Caravella had a shot ¬ sort of ¬ and Sydney had a goal kick. Sean Devine had an acrobatic attempt and Simon Yeo hit a hefty shot, but was long offside.
Corica made progress down the left but was pushed wide by Darren Bazeley and his cross went nowhere.
In the 30th minute a Corica free kick gave Fyfe a header from the left of the penalty area. The ball drifted across the goal and just clipped the right post, where Carney was waiting to nod home. And Sydney were 2-0 up.
New Zealand had a corner and Bolton was again in the air to collect with assurance.
In the 33rd minute Alvin Ceccoli (who had an unusual sub-par game) crossed from the left and Carney's header was just tipped over the bar by Milosevic. From the corner Timpano headed over.
Two minutes later, on a Knights corner, Timpano headed clear. Fyfe started a good Sydney movement, passing to Petrovski on the left. Petrovski squared to Corica who made good contact but shot just high.
McFlynn fouled Yeo, Ronnie Bull (a hard worker for the Knights) chipped in and Timpano headed clear.
People in the crowd vented their frustration at Sydney's slow movement forward.
Tinkler saved a certain goal, just getting enough contact with his head to deny Petrovski a cross from Bingley on the right.
In the 42nd minute Carney supplied Petrovski who played a lovely, lovely through ball to Yorke who had made a good run from near half way. With only the keeper to beat, Yorke couldn't. But he collected the rebound off Milosevic and took his time to line up a cracker, only to be denied by Bazeley on the line.
Maguire fouled Petrovski, who was successfully running through seven players on his own. Yorke's free kick was deflected to the right of goal and Sydney had a corner. Yorke made a brave dive as the ball was cleared off the line.
At the start of the second half Petrovski had a shot at Milosevic then set up Carney for a sitter ΔΆ which he missed.
Ceccoli blocked a shot outside the penalty area and Knights had a corner. McFlynn cleared but Knights had another corner.
In the 53rd minute Bingley got onto a ball lobbed into the Knights box and pushed it just wide of the left post.
Yeo cut inside Ceccoli to get a shot on target but Bolton had it covered. New Zealand hit another shot high and wide as Sydney started to look sloppy.
In the 58th minute Petrovski earned his yellow after delivering another beautiful ball to Yorke. Yorke evaded three players and doubled back before returning the ball to Petrovski on the right. Petrovski found it hard to believe he was offside.
Yeo fell in the Sydney box trying to get to a half chance.
Sydney continued to defend with eight players behind the ball. Even Petrovski dropped to help out. Very not exciting.
Yeo made another effort, taking on several Sydney players and finally getting hurt taking on Packer on the Sydney goal line.
Knights won another corner. Timpano headed clear.
In the 65th minute Corica got away through the middle with Carney free on the right and Yorke in front. He chose Yorke and found him with a good ball. Yorke, again with only the keeper to beat, missed the target completely, looping his shot over the crossbar.
Ben Collett put in a good tackle on Corica. A Noah Hickey cross was deflected for another Knights corner. Bolton was excellent collecting at the far post. My daughter was amazed at the way Bolton seemed to hang in the air.
Packer hit a long ball that Yorke controlled skilfully on his chest before offloading to Carney. Carney's good low cross was hoicked away.
Knights countered immediately down the right and then a fine ball found Maguire standing alone in the left side of the Sydney penalty area. Maguire should have scored. He had all the time in the world to pick his spot but, probably stunned by his good fortune, side-footed it outside the right upright.
That's why a team comes last in a football competition.
Yorke, on a break after another good turn, supplied Corica who did nothing, lost the ball, got it back and did nothing with it again.
New Zealand, looking more like scoring, won another corner.
Yorke and Corica combined in another comedy of errors and stumbles until Corica missed to the left of goal.
Hickey crossed from the right and Bolton was safe. Bolton then fended away a shot on target from Yeo after an initial shot from in front of goal was blocked. Yeo then beat McFlynn in the middle of the park.
A long ball from Fyfe was nodded on with finesse by Petrovski to Yorke who wasn't strong enough to break away from his marker. Petrovski then won a good ball and waved for support but everyone else was flat footed.
In the 81st minute Petrovski was replaced by Robbie Middleby as John Tambouras came on for Bull.
A Bazeley cross into the middle of the Sydney penalty area gave Tambouras a free header. The header went wide but Bolton gave his defenders an angry serve. (Though Fiona thought he might have been better off coming out to catch it in the first place.)
Yorke with a lovely touch found Middleby but Middleby, challenged by Bazeley, went for a little lie down.
Mark Rudan came on with four minutes to go, going into midfield with Bingley taking over from Packer at right back. He scored with a good header after some neat footwork by Yorke on the left but it didn't count, Rudan having to lean over a defender to make contact.
And 2-0 was all there would be for the home fans.
Fiona said Yorke looked fat, unfit and slow (and thought he didn't really make much of a contribution to Manchester United either).
She said she found the first half better; not because she thought New Zealand played better in the second half but because Sydney played worse. She didn't think much of the Knights but talked her friend into bringing her again next week so she could see how Sydney fared against Newcastle.
After the game I bumped into a couple of lads from my own team Δξ I thought I was our only Sydney supporter. I'm not sure how committed they were, however, because I later discovered they spent much of the game "perving at some hotties sitting behind them". They thought Rudan's goal should have been allowed.
And they said some Kiwi supporters behind them had been saying Sydney sucked so they'd conducted a long philosophical debate about the relative merits of "faggers" and "sheep shaggers".
From that pinnacle of good taste it was on to hear a post mortem from the hangdog Mr Littbarski.
The Sydney coach said he was happy with the first half performance. It was not easy to come back after a 5-0 loss. He was less pleased with the second half, saying the Knights in the end gave Sydney a hard time.
He was frustrated that Sydney had a chance to smash New Zealand five or six to nil and didn't do it. They didn't perform for the whole 90 minutes, he said, but he hoped they were saving the goals for the next game.
He said he was impressed with Timpano, who played the 90 minutes with no serious mistakes and was also good going forward.
New Zealand coach John Adshead conversely said his team didn't play well in the first half, didn't close down quick enough, and looked very lightweight again. He thought the ball bounced more in favour of Sydney, but that was the way it went when you were at the bottom of the league looking up.
He thought the second half performance was much better: "In fact I think we dominated lots of the play in the second half. But the big problem is scoring goals."
He said the Knights had consistently missed sitters throughout the season. Chances had come and gone. "We've got to hold our hand up. We have some very good strikers who are of a type ΔΆ but we didn't sign a target man. It's all there but we were a little out of shape and possibly could be better organised with a different type of player."
Once his strikers got on the board they could become consistent, he said, but they needed help and he couldn't give them that at the moment.
He said he was particularly impressed with Cole Tinkler who was given a tough job on Yorke and got stronger and more confident as the game went on.
Danny Hay's presence, he said, was good, especially when he saw more of the ball in the second half. Adshead looked forward to the return of the height of Neil Emblen: "We weren't a big side tonight. We didn't deal with the aerial power of this big Sydney side that well."