Another day, another world record. Australia's goalfeast in the World Cup qualifiers reached glutinous proportions with an incredible 31-0 slaughter of the schoolkids of American Samoa in Coffs Harbour last night.
The Polynesian minnows, officially ranked as the worst team in the world (No203), had read the headlines, heard the jokes, and listened to the debate about men against boys. With an average age of just 18, no prizes for guessing who was wearing the short pants in what was billed as the most lopsided match in the 140-year history of the international game. Yet despite the predictions of impending doom, American Samoa insisted they were looking forward to their date with destiny. In the grandstand before the kick-off, they entertained the crowd with an impromptu sing-a-long to calm their nerves. Somebody suggested later it was the only time they were in tune all night.
The Socceroos showed sympathy, but no mercy for their hopelessly undermanned opponents. By the time Tahitian referee Ronan Leaustic blew the final whistle, striker Archie Thompson had netted 13 times, a record for the number of goals scored by an individual in an international game, a mark which had stood since the 1912 Olympics [Sofus Nielsen scored 10 for Denmark against France in the 1908 Olympics, and Gottfried Fuchs also scored 10 for Germany against Russia in the 1912 Olympics - TE].
Thompson's record-breaking 11th goal also enabled the Socceroos to smash their own world record, set just two days earlier against Tonga. Two world records with one strike of the ball, something to tell the grandkids that's for sure.
American Samoan coach Tunoa Lui had insisted before the game that the opportunity to play against Australia was an important part of the learning curve. But it is hard to imagine what they gained from this. Goalkeeper Nicky Salapu at least produced a string of athletic, and courageous, saves to show that as long as he recovers mentally from last night's torture, he has a decent future.
The future of games such as this, however, remains the subject of fierce debate. Socceroo coach Frank Farina made his views clear after the 22-goal haul against Tonga on Monday night, pleading with the authorities to produce a new format which would keep such mis-matched teams apart. Oceania Football Confederation president Basil Scarsella took exception to the criticism, ringing journalists before last night's game to suggest Farina was better served concentrating on his coaching instead of concerning himself about the administration of the game.
More is certain to be said about Australia's rampage through Oceania group one, which still has two more games to run. In the interests of all concerned, it must be hoped Fiji can make a game of it when the group is effectively decided on Saturday.
But the Fijians suffered a body blow when their best player, Manoa Masi, was sent off in last night's early game (a 6-1 win over Samoa), meaning he will miss the game against the Socceroos through suspension. Nothing, it seems, is going right for the opposition.
By contrast, everything the Socceroos touch turns to gold. It took them 10 minutes to open the scoring last night, when Con Boutsianis got the first goal direct from a corner. Ruthlessly, clinically, the Socceroos then moved in for the kill.
The carcass of American Samoa was shredded by half-time, the scoreboard already showing 16-0. But there would be no let off after the break. Fifty-three goals now in two games. The record books, both collectively and individually, torn to bits. It is too late to end the carnage this time around, but there should be no repetition in four years' time. The Socceroos have seen to that.